


Didn't know it would be the last

by Rainbugi



Category: VICTON (Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Chan is a supportive friend, Funeral, Just angst, M/M, Major character dead, angsty angst, seungsik is sad, speech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbugi/pseuds/Rainbugi
Summary: Seungsik wasn't prepared for all of the last times that have already passed.
Relationships: Han Seungwoo & Kang Seungsik, Han Seungwoo/Kang Seungsik
Kudos: 13
Collections: Challenge #8 — Ending with a Bang





	Didn't know it would be the last

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> First of all thank you mods for hosting, you're awesome!
> 
> Secondly: I'm sorry for the hearts that might get broken here.
> 
> I saw the theme's first and last and this is what my mean brain came up with: angsty angst
> 
> MCD stands for major character dead :')

Seungsik fiddles nervously with the piece of paper that he wrote the speech on. The speech that took him several days to write, yet still fits on a single paper. It’s not enough, not even nearly, yet it’s too much. He just hopes he gets it all out, but he doesn’t think he can.

He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself and feels his best friend, Chan, squeeze his shoulder. He looks up and throws him a fleeting smile, one that is as hollow as his stomach feels. He’s glad he has him there as support, but it does little to comfort him. He doesn’t think he can be.

It’s his turn to speak, so he gets up and Chan gives him an encouraging pat on his back. He walks over to the lectern and places his little paper on it before clearing his throat and looking up at the people that have gathered. There are quite a few that he doesn’t recognize, but the ones that stand out are the people that he loves. His friends and family. Seeing their faces makes him choke up and he clears his throat again, choosing to keep his eyes fixed on the piece of paper in front of him instead.

“First of all, I want to thank you all for coming. It means the world to me. And I know it would have meant the world to him too.” His words tremble, but he manages to keep it together. He doesn’t dare to look up, let alone beside him yet, though.

“Seungwoo..” He takes another deep breath. “Seungwoo was someone we could all build on. He was the most caring, kindhearted man I have ever met. He loved us all so very much and with all his heart. His passion in life and for music shone so bright, the joy it brought him brightening our lives along with it.” He swallows hard as he hears several people burst into tears again. “He was someone to look up to and admire, someone who still had so much left to give and who still deserved so much more than what he got.”

At this point the tears are streaming down his face and the words get choked up in sobs, but he refuses to stop. He has to do this. For Seungwoo and his family, but also for himself. So he takes another deep breath that is disrupted by a sob and keeps going. 

“What happened is not fair, but we cannot change it. Instead, we must live on with the same brightness and vigour, because that is what he would have wanted us to do. We shall remember him, and eventually these memories will make us smile again, just like he used to. Rest well, Seungwoo, may your light be with those that have passed before you now. I love you, I always have and always will. Thank you for everything.”

The last part is barely a whisper, his throat hoarse from trying to force himself to speak, but he did it, he got it all out. He walks over to the casket, but his vision is blurred by the tears that just won’t stop flowing. The picture on top is one he chose together with Seungwoo’s mom, the flowers are his sisters'. Everything about it screams Seungwoo, and Seungsik feels his heart break impossibly more.

How he wishes he could still hold him, still kiss him good morning and goodnight, still hear his soft voice weave melody after melody. Nobody warned him when it was the last time he could. Just about a week ago he had kissed him good morning, earning a low grumbled “just 5 more minutes”. He had made him his breakfast, and shooed him out the door to get to work. Before the door could close, Seungwoo had spun around and pulled him into a warm hug, whispering a soft “I love you” into his ear.

All that had happened, without Seungsik ever knowing that it was the last time it would. Without him knowing that he’d never thread his hands through his hair again while he rested his head in his lap and they watched movies together. That he’d never again get to see the sun bounce off his face in the warm spring days that they’d spend taking walks together. They will never have a spring together again.

Seungsik feels his knees buckle and hit the floor. He wraps his arms around himself and shrinks into himself as the sobs wrack his body. His breathing becomes ragged and his eyes sting, but they just won't dry. He feels someone gently help him up and guide him back to his seat, and he realizes Chan has come to get him. He leans into his best friend as he slowly calms his breathing. His heart feels like it's being ripped straight from his chest, a feeling he thinks he should be used to by now, but it still hurts just as much as it did the first time.

He's not sure if there will be a last for that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope it was very sad ^-^ love you all <3 I'm sorry (only a little)


End file.
